


Patience

by TottWriter



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, They're such idiots you guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 23:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16670413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TottWriter/pseuds/TottWriter
Summary: Takahiro is not the only gay player on the volleyball team. He's pretty sure at least half the team are, in fact. He is, however, the only one staying firmly in the closet for his time at school....Right?





	Patience

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of two pieces I wrote for the Seijoh Third Years Zine. I have a bit of a soft spot for writing this ship, so I'm excited to be able to share it at last. Look out for the other (also MatsuHana, lol) fic I wrote for the zine soon!

It was hardly as though Takahiro were the only gay player on the volleyball team. Honestly, he’d half come around to believing that either he was some sort of magnet or the  _ sport  _ was, because he’d come out after his final match at elementary school only to find out that half the team were one step behind him. 

Technically, it had even led to his first kiss, although the older he got, the less sure he was that you could  _ count  _ a half second brush of the lips behind the clubroom when no one was looking. All the same it had seemed very daring as a fresh-faced twelve year old. Very mature and grown up and not at all something he’d eventually try to forget, only to die a little inside each time he remembered feeling  _ certain _ it was True Love.

Junior High had rolled around, and what do you know, he’d been surrounded by almost-certainly-gay teammates once more. Still, at least none of them were the same gay teammates from his Elementary school, because it turned out that at the age of twelve, True Love lasted for all of a fortnight. In the wake of that experience, he found himself a lot less eager to come out at Junior High. Then again, it could have been thanks to his mother’s stern talking-to about the whole thing. 

He was lucky, really he was. She’d not taken the news that he had a boyfriend (albeit briefly)  _ well _ , true. But she’d gone on to explain that the reason for her concern was more the fact he was too young to be dating; that he had to focus on school; that besides,  _ other  _ people would judge him for who he was and he should protect himself. 

She’d sounded like she was really trying to mean it when she told him it didn’t bother her that he was gay, too. Takahiro had been just young enough to mostly believe her, while simultaneously old enough to know from the internet that it could have gone a  _ lot  _ worse. Either way, he’d known better than to push his luck. 

As a result, during his time at Junior High he remained quiet—on that topic, at least. But he was hardly blind, and apparently he wasn’t quite as subtle as he thought he was being either, because in his second year Watari, one of his juniors, picked  _ him  _ to confide in when wanting to know if it was safe to come out or not.

“Why me?” he’d asked, leaning against the back of the clubhouse with his arms folded. “I mean, why do you want to know what  _ I  _ think?”

Watari had looked utterly stricken. “But…but you’re…aren’t you…”

Takahiro had taken pity on him then, clapping him around the shoulder. “I mean, sure: you’re not wrong. Don’t panic so much. I’m not gonna tell anyone, unless you  _ want  _ me to for some reason. But I’m probably not the one to go to about this. I’m not out and I’m not  _ going  _ to come out, either.”

Of course, that had warranted its own explanation, because young Watari looked as though he were about to fall down with renewed anxiety.

“I’m not saying the team won’t support you,” he’d said, wishing first years had a little more backbone. Surely he’d never been so timid when  _ he’d  _ been one? “I mean, I honestly don’t know how they feel about that stuff, but that’s not the reason. It’s…” He sighed. “It’s my family. They know I’m gay, but basically the condition for me having a nice, happy time at home is that I don’t come out or date anyone until I finish school.”

And it was a slightly melodramatic way of explaining it, perhaps. As time had gone by, his mother had apparently grown used to the idea—to the point where she’d even discussed a time when she met her “future son-in-law” once or twice—but honestly, he wasn’t about to sit there and explain his whole life to an underclassman. 

“I’ll say this though,” he’d added, because Watari could probably use  _ some  _ advice, “I’m not cut up about flying under the radar. I’ve come out before, and it went well, but I’ve done my reading since then and I got  _ lucky _ . I can’t promise everyone’s gonna be as supportive as my old team was. Just make sure you tell the right people, yeah?”

Of course, it was all rank hypocrisy. It had been about that time when he’d started to consider that possibly the whole damn  _ sport  _ was as gay as they came, and that he was the only one missing out on having flings left, right, and centre. And then, a few months before the end of his second year, they had a new student and teammate transfer in from another region, and he was left cursing his luck twice over because  _ damn _ . Matsukawa Issei was not only as hot as they came, but fairly swiftly ended up becoming one of his closest friends, too.

Takahiro even had moments—rare, but they existed—when he could have sworn that he caught Matsukawa watching him, in a way that suggested he was being checked out. 

But he  _ had  _ promised to stay closeted at school, and it wasn’t as though his schoolwork was so little a concern that he could try to argue his way around that. Grudgingly, he did have to admit that it was important to focus on his studies. 

Slightly  _ less  _ grudgingly, as time went on and his little crush went nowhere, and Matsukawa showed no signs of coming out himself. 

It was far easier to lean on the excuse that he wasn’t allowed to come out than it was to admit that he was scared his feelings were going nowhere—in both senses of the world. It was a hopeless crush that just never seemed to end, and where was that whirlwind kind of True Love from when he’d been twelve when he reached High School and it still hadn’t gone away?

Not that High School was a bad experience, overall. It had its frustrations—the lessons got harder; their eternal failure to beat Shiratorizawa hurt far more now that he was on a team which consistently came so  _ close _ ; half the rest of the team was so  _ transparently  _ gay that he had days when he wondered why he even bothered to keep his promise, for all the difference it made—but for every irritation, he was more than compensated.

The worst part though, was that throughout it all, his crush burned on as strongly as it had back in Junior High. Matsukawa was always there, by his side for every match, sitting with him at lunch, on the bus back from school…eternally his friend and nothing more. As time went by, Takahiro became  _ glad  _ that he wasn’t able to come out. Perhaps they’d both graduate and just…go their separate ways, and his best friend would never need to know. It would save the awkwardness, at least.

_ It’s like a curse _ , he often told himself.  _ Never the only gay on the team, just the only one who’s isn’t allowed to admit it. _

And then, far sooner than he was really ready for, it was all over. Volleyball came to an end: cut short by Karasuno. The winter rolled past with its endless exams, and then, almost without fanfare, he was walking out of school with a roll of paper in his hand, and that was that. Done. He was no longer a student.

“Hey, got a minute?” Matsukawa asked as they made their way out of the school grounds. He’d stuffed his roll of diplomas in his bag, and looked oddly evasive.

“Sure,” Takahiro drawled. “Just so long as you’re not planning on shanking me or something.”

Matsukawa laughed, but it wasn’t anything like natural. Takahiro narrowed his eyes.

“So, you  _ are  _ planning on shanking me?” he asked, grinning. This was fine. It was easy banter, and it sure as hell didn’t matter that he had no idea how much he’d get to see Matsukawa now they weren’t going to be at school together every day.

“Yes,” was the flat reply. That much was a given, but what  _ wasn’t  _ was the way he couldn’t meet Takahiro’s eyes, or the tightness of his jaw. 

And it sure as anything wasn’t a given that he’d take a couple of long steps and stop dead, right in front of Takahiro. 

“You’re done with school now, right?”

Takahiro held up the diploma. “That was kind of the point of today, wasn’t it?”

“Right, right.” Matsukawa took a long breath, and grinned. “In that case, no one’s gonna object if I kiss you, yeah?”

There was an appropriate response to a statement like that somewhere, but Takahiro was never going to find it. It was about all he could manage just to nod, and to keep his knees from buckling as Matsukawa smiled—not a grin, an honest-to-god  _ smile, holy shit _ —and leant forward.

As far as second kisses went, Takahiro had to rate it pretty highly. High enough that he never planned on admitting that it wasn’t his first, anyway. But to be perfectly honest, his brain was too busy having a white-out to really appreciate it as much as he had the endless fantasies he’d indulged in over the years. Because hold on.  _ Hold. On. _

What the hell? It wasn’t as though he was about to  _ complain  _ about this sudden turn of events or anything, but he had definitely missed something along the way somewhere. He had some fairly important questions to ask, and fast.

Still, the thing about deep, important questions? They required words, and words were definitely not something coming easily to him as he stared, wide-eyed, at his best friend slash crush slash…oh god, the smile was back. That was it. Rest In Peace Hanamaki Takahiro, slain by the most perfect face ever to exist. 

“You know, I’ve wanted to do that for a  _ long  _ time,” Matsukawa remarked, as casually as if he were talking about what he planned on having for dinner that night. “Pretty much since we met, actually. Just as well I spoke to Watari first, eh?”

In an ideal world, Takahiro would have been able to respond with something witty or amusing. Something to make a good story later. As it was, all he really managed was a somewhat strangled: “Wait  _ what? Watari? _ And…and… How did I not know you were gay?”

Matsukawa raised his eyebrows, and gestured to the diplomas in Takahiro’s hand. “He didn’t out you or anything—I pretty much guessed you were gay from the start—but he explained the situation with your family. And I didn’t want to risk them being suspicious of our being friends if my sexuality was common knowledge, so I figured it was safer to stay closeted as well. But you’re done with school now, and that was the condition, right?”

Condition? What—Takahiro’s eyes widened as he suddenly remembered a certain off-hand conversation from Junior High, lodged deep in the recesses of his mind as an anecdote— 

“My god, I’m gonna  _ kill  _ Watari,” Takahiro groaned, pressing his palms to his temples. “You… _ honestly _ , this whole time? You colossal  _ idiot! _ Hell, me too! I can’t believe—”

He took a deep breath, composing himself, before grabbing Matsukawa’s tie and pulling him close.

“You know,” he murmured, taking deep satisfaction in the faint pink which dusted his new boyfriend’s cheeks, “I made that promise when I was twelve and an idiot. I only stuck to it because the person I liked was you, and  _ you  _ didn’t seem interested! My dear mother doesn’t care. She just didn’t want me getting sidetracked from schoolwork, that’s all. We could have done this  _ years  _ ago.”

He gave Matsukawa another moment to stare at him, eyes wide and surprised for once, and the faint beginnings of another deadly smile on his lips. 

_ Mind you _ , Takahiro thought, as he leant up for his third-time’s-the-charm, definitely-one-to-remember kiss,  _ Maybe this was worth waiting for. _

 


End file.
